Pathetic Nobody
by prussianpunk1
Summary: Matthew has to tell his brother, Alfred, a secret he's been keeping for a very long time, a secret that ultimately leads to more and more secrets, each one worse than the last.
1. Life Doesn't Care

This is my first fanfiction that I have published. I write stories for my friends sometimes when I'm bored. I do not own hetalia, because you would know if a fangirl owned Hetalia.

Summary: Matthew has to tell his brother, Alfred, a secret he's been keeping for a very long time, a secret that ultimately leads to more and more secrets, each one worse than the last.

Chapter One: Life doesn't care

"What do you mean you don't want to go to school? Is it because of that Gilbert guy? I'll pound his face if you want!"

Matthew sighed as he peered out from under his blanket at his big brother, Alfred. Alfred stood with his arms crossed over his bomber jacket, a look of badly hidden concern on his face. "Gilbert isn't the problem. He's not _trying_ to be obnoxious. That's just how he is. Besides, he wouldn't give me the time of the day."

"Then what is the problem? Please, Mattie, it's been so long since I saw you smile... You're so sad everyday, and I don't know what to do."

"Just leave me alone. You can't help me." Matthew dug deeper into his bed, trying to hold back the sobs threatening to overcome his body. Alfred grabbed the blanket and yanked, making Matthew yelp as his legs and arms were subjected to the cold February air. He was wearing only boxers and an oversized t-shirt, much to his embarrassment.

"Mattie! Stop hiding from the world! What the hell is so bad that it would cause you to act like a damn pathetic nobody?!"

Matthew tackled Alfred to the ground, his tears splattering against Alfred's face and shirt. "The thing that is so bad is that, being the disgusting little pathetic nobody I am, I managed to fall in love with my older brother, knowing that he will never love me back, and he will always be disgusted with me! Knowing that I will NEVER love another man as much as I love him, and just because we came out of the same woman, I can NEVER have him, even if he did take pity on me enough to ignore my hideous face and fat body! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

Matthew sobbed once more before pushing himself up and away from his brother. Alfred quickly grabbed him by the arms and held him there. Matthew flinched away, thinking Alfred was going to hit him. "Mattie... How long?"

The violet-eyed teen shook his head. "Forever and a half.." he whimpered. "You've cared for me...when nobody knew my name. You never denied me anything. You go out of your way to help me, or beat up someone for me... I'm silly, that's what brothers DO for each other... I just... nobody else cares about me..."

Alfred let go of one arm to wipe the tears from his brother's eyes. "Mattie, don't ever say something like that. I don't think you're disgusting for having a crush on your brother. It's not uncommon, actually. And tons of people care about you." He pulled Matthew off of him, and put him to the side, trying to ignore how easily he could lift him. "Get dressed for school, you're fine."

As soon as the door closed behind his brother, Matthew curled up on himself and sobbed silently.

Alfred shut the door behind him, frowning. Who knew Mattie felt that way about his brother? Oh, well, he'll forget about it soon, it's just a silly little crush.

A few minutes later, he heard quiet footsteps coming down the stairs. Matthew was staring at the ground, both hands clutching his backpack. Alfred gave a small sigh. "Do you want my other pop tart, Matthew?"

The younger shook his head, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Alfred shrugged. "Well, we already missed half the day, but the car is warming up if you want to wait while I grab my stuff." and dissapeared up the stairs. Matthew sniffled once before wiping his eyes to get rid of the tears gathering there. He went and sat in the car, holding his backpack on his lap. A few moments later, Alfred climbed in and they drove to school in silence.

As soon as Alfred parked the car, Matthew jumped out and rushed to the bathroom. He flew into a stall and sat in there. An odd feeling started in his stomach and worked it's way up to his throat. Matthew hunched over the toilet and started puking. When he was done, he sat on the ground and cried again. The bell signaling fifth period was over rang, yet Matthew stayed in the bathroom. He didn't think he could deal with going to his last class. What if he had to puke again?

Two boys voices filled the bathroom. Matthew recognized one as his brother, and he struggled to stay silent.

"Artie! Why do you keep denying me? I know you want me!"

Matthew's eyes stung at that point and he couldn't breathe.

"Leave me alone, Alfred, I'm not in the mood."

"But Artie, you're so cute when you get all flustered like this. If I had to pick 1 person in the entire world to love, it'd be you."

Matthew couldn't stand it anymore. He got up quickly and opened the door loudly in his haste. He could feel both the boy's staring as he hurried past, to find another hiding place. He was so upset, he ran straight into Alfred's best friend, Antonio. The happy-go-lucky spaniard stopped him. "Hola Mattie, what's up?"

A quick decision crossed into Matthew's brain. "If you see my brother around, tell him it's not his fault, and I won't be around to bother him anymore. He can just hang out with 'Artie' for all I care." and he pushed past the stunned teen.

Ignoring the fact that nobody was stopping him as he left campus, Matthew walked until he located their house, then found the nearest park to sit down on the swings dejectedly. For the millionth time that day, like many days before it, Matthew shivered with rejection and let a few tears escape his eyes before getting up to walk home.

Alfred followed Arthur into the bathroom, mocking the boy about another love confession from francis.

"Artie! Why do you keep denying me? I know you want me!" he said with seriousness, but waggling his eyebrows at his friend. Arthur sighed. "Leave me alone, Alfred, I'm not in the mood."

"But Artie, you're so cute when you get all flustered like this. If I had to pick 1 person in the entire world to love, it'd be you." Alfred made a kissy face, interrupted by a door opening suddenly behind him. He looked over his shoulder in surprise, eyes widening at the realization that his little brother was in the stall the whole time. Matthew's hurt was obvious as he quickly fled, quiet sobs echoing behind him.

It took Alfred a second, but he ran after him, leaving a very confused Arthur in the bathroom. On his way down the hall, he found Antonio looking perplexed, staring after someone. Alfred slowed. "What's up, Toni?"

The spaniard whirled around. "Oh, your brother... just told me to tell you it's not your fault, and that you won't have to deal with him anymore. He ran in that direction, he looked pretty upset."

Alfred ran off in the direction Antonio pointed, then stopped to get in his truck. Ignoring the people trying to stop him from leaving campus, Alfred drove home, going over the speed limit and running stop signs. He was starting to think about his first serious crush, back when he was 14. It was, quite ironically, 12 year old Matthew.

But he had to get over that quickly, knowing that it wasn't right. So there were absolutely no leftover feelings during the last 3 years. He had dated other people, though never going farther than kissing. Nobody seemed quite as perfect as his little brother. "Stop that, Al!" he grumbled to himself. "You do not love Matthew, and it's not fair to him to keep thinking of him in that way."

Soon, he spotted the neighborhood he had lived in the past few years, and parked in the driveway. When he got walked inside, he did a double take of his brother's backpack sitting by the stairs. "Mattie?" he called softly up the stairs.

Without a reply, Alfred turned to explore the rest of the house in search of his brother, but froze at the half whimper half sob from the upstairs bathroom. Walking slowly up the stairs, he pushed open the bathroom door.

Matthew looked up, quite startled and upset. Alfred evenmore so. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled, swatting the razor blade out of his brother's hand. The bloody metal clinked in the sink and Matthew turned to his brother with wide frightened eyes, clutching at his wrist to try to hide it. He stuttered out "I-I j-just-"

Alfred grabbed Matthew by the shoulders, shaking him roughly. "DON'T YOU EVER DO THIS AGAIN! IT'S A DISGUSTING WAY TO RUIN YOUR BODY!"

Matthew cried out in pain, tears flying out from behind his eyes. "What do you care? You think I'm a fat disgusting whore, don't you? I can tell, you don't give a damn about me. You just like humiliating me..."

Alfred growled and gripped Matthew's wrist tightly before slapping him harshly across the face. Matthew fell against the door, which he quickly opened and fled out of, sobbing. The older huffed for a moment, then turned and smashed the mirror next to him, the glass going everywhere and in his knuckles.

After he calmed down, he realized he had not heard Matthew. When he went back downstairs, he was shocked how late it had gotten, and the front door was open, Matthew's shoes gone. Alfred cursed under his breath.

Well, that's all for now. I update pretty quickly, like weekly if i'm not busy and if the story is going places. And I'm actually liking this one so far. To recap: Mattie loves Alfred, heard him saying he loves Arthur, went home to cut, Alfred found him and was so enraged he slapped Mattie. Now Mattie is alone outside.

See ya'll next time!


	2. Missing a lot of Things

Just to clarify:

"Talking"

'Thoughts'

What happened last chapter:

_Alfred grabbed Matthew by the shoulders, shaking him roughly. "DON'T YOU EVER DO THIS AGAIN! IT'S A DISGUSTING WAY TO RUIN YOUR BODY!" _

_ Matthew cried out in pain, tears flying out from behind his eyes. "What do you care? You think I'm a fat disgusting whore, don't you? I can tell, you don't give a damn about me. You just like humiliating me..."_

_ Alfred growled and gripped Matthew's wrist tightly before slapping him harshly across the face. Matthew fell against the door, which he quickly opened and fled out of, sobbing. The older huffed for a moment, then turned and smashed the mirror next to him, the glass going everywhere and in his knuckles._

_ After he calmed down, he realized he had not heard Matthew. When he went back downstairs, he was shocked how late it had gotten, and the front door was open, Matthew's shoes gone. Alfred cursed under his breath._

Chapter Two: Missing a lot of Things

The sun was beginning to set, and the shy pretty boy was missing. Who knows what could happen to him when the sun went down! Alfred jumped in his car again that day, rushing to find Mattie. After searching the streets until it got dark, Alfred decided to try the park.

He got out of his red truck and shut the door behind him. Nobody was playing on the toys, and Alfred couldn't see anyone else around. He was about to leave when he heard a quiet sniffle to his left, in the woods.

He investigated, boiling with rage at what he saw. Matthew was sitting in front of a man, looking scared out of his mind. The man demanded something in french that made Matthew flinch. Then Alfred remembered, It was that good for nothing Francis from school! Always hitting on guys, even though he was 18 and it was practically against the law, and telling Alfred how nice his brother would feel.

Alfred watched, frozen, as Francis started stroking the petrified Matthew's cheeek. "You are so beautiful, Matthieu. It is too bad you are so cut up about your brother. I could help you forget about him. Maybe if you had a real man show you how loving is done, you'd forget all about silly Alfred and his silly morals.

Alfred tackled Francis to the ground, catching the French man by surprise. "I told you before and I'll tell you again! Lay one hand on my brother, and I'll rip your fucking throat out!" he snarled, punching him in the face repeatedly. Francis caught his fist, struggling for a moment. "Then what about when _you_ lay a hand on him? Does _that_ make it right?!"

He was so shocked that Francis was able to roll them over, so he was on top and punching Alfred, but only for a second. Alfred kneed him in the stomach and beat him to a pulp. Francis turned to flee, but faced Matthew at the last second. "Whore. I'm going to make your life a living nightmare." and he ran off.

Alfred rushed to his brother's side. "Mattie, are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Matthew swatted his hand away, rising to his feet in anger. "No, the only person hurting me is YOU! It's YOU that makes me want to hurt myself; let other people hurt me! I _know_ that you don't love me back, but you don't have to throw it in my face! I already _know_ I'm a disgusting freak, you're only making me feel worse!"

"Mattie, you're not disgusting at all..." Alfred tried to console, bringing him into a forced embrace.

"I like my brother! It's called incest, and it's a disgusting way to get your heart broken!" Matthew sobbed desperately against Alfred.

"What about when I liked you? Does that make ME a disgusting freak?" Alfred accidentally revealed, going rigid when he realized what he said. Matthew froze also. "What?"

Alfred let go of Matthew, who backed away slowly, looking up at his brother, though neither could see in the dark forest. Alfred cleared his throat awkwardly. "I...I used to have a crush on you. 3 or so years ago. I just never did anything about it, because I thought I would scare you off."

"After...after mom and dad died?" Matthew asked, hugging himself. Alfred smiled faintly. "Yeah..."

"Alfred, I know this is probably the last thing you want, but..." Matthew trailed off. Alfred stepped closer. "What is it, mattie?"

"Well, it's just that I... I've never kissed anyone before... and I was wondering if you'd be willing...NEVER MIND IT'S DUMB!" he shied away from Alfred, losing his nerve. Alfred took his brother's face in his fands. "Mattie, I'm honored. I always dreamed of kissing you, you know." and he gently kissed him on the lips.

Matthew made a kind of surprised noise, then melted into the should-not-be-lasting-this-long kiss. Alfred thought that he should probably move away soon, but instead found himself wanting to kiss his brother more, and started moving his lips, encouraging Matthew to do the same.

After getting him to respond, Alfred swiped his tongue across the lips he was kissing, not realizing the person he was kissing. The mouth opened in a gasp, letting Alfred plunge his tongue in and kiss the living hell out of the person.

Suddenly Matthew gave a soft whimper, making Alfred pull away in shock. The feel of the thin shaking body in his arms made him totally regret his actions. "Mattie, I'm sorry I kissed you like that... we should probably be getting home." When Matthew said nothing, Alfred felt worse. They began towards the truck when Matthew spoke up.

"Thank you, Al...for putting up with that..." he whispered into the dark. "It meant a lot to me." in the light of the street lamp, the two boys looked each other in the eyes. Alfred winced as he noticed the bruising on his brother's face. He slowly reached up and stroked the blue and black cheek gently. "Did I...did I do this?" he asked lowly, glancing around.

Matthew jumped a bit with the sudden noise. "What is it?"

"Francis didn't hit you!?" Alfred demanded.

"No, he just threatened me and shook me up." Matthew said quietly, raising a hand to feel his face. "Why, what's the matter?"

Alfred turned away, hating himself for marking his brother's pretty face. "I gave you a bruise when I slapped you. I'm so sorry." Embarrassed that his eyes were beginning to water, Alfred opened the passenger door for Matthew, then got in the other side. Matthew fidgeted in the silence. "You know, it's not that big of a deal. Nobody even looks at my face, I doubt anybody would notice. And it'll eventually go away."

Alfred started the car, then turned to face his brother. "Mattie, in all seriousness, I love your face. And I can't stand the thought that I hit you. And don't try to say it didn't hurt!" he warned as Matthew opened his mouth. "I know it did, you fell and were crying. I just...please Mattie, you make me feel so crazy with emotions and I don't know how to sort them out."

Matthew looked up at his brother. "I'm sorry, Alfred. If I'd just kept my mouth shut about falling in love with you, nothing bad would have happened. It brought up craziness and I regret it. Let's just forget about it."

Alfred pulled a face. "Hey, I'm kinda hungry, you wanna get some food somewhere?" he asked, glancing at his passenger. Matthew blinked rapidly and placed a hand on his stomach, frowning. "No...no, I'm not hungry. I haven't been hungry for a while, actually. Food...feels wrong."

"Well then, let's just go home and I'll find something to eat there. Are you sure you don't want anything?" Alfred asked, stopping at a red light. Matthew nodded. "Yeah, my body will tell me when it's okay to eat again."

'Or at least the mirror will.' Matthew sighed, curling up against the door.

Back home, Matthew went straight up to his room, taking his backpack with him. Alfred sighed as he made himself a sandwich. 'He sure is getting thin lately. Though I'm sure it's just a side effect of this love thing. Still, I should bring him something. Let's see..." After looking in the kitchen forever, Alfred found little maple flavored honey grahams. He took the stairs quickly, not even pausing as he opened his brother's door. "Hey Mattie-"

His startled brother made a grab for his shirt, but it was too late. Alfred marched across the room, leaving the snack on the desk. "Matthew Lapin Bonnefoy! Why?!" he tried to choke out. He grabbed hold of the skinny arm. "Why are you starving yourself?" the tears finally came, spilling down Alfred's cheeks.

Matthew yanked his arm away, tugging a hoodie over his head. "I-I've been having weird thoughts lately, so I decided to act on them. I tried to think logically about why people don't notice me, and one of the first things that came to mind was how physically unnatractive i am. So I fixed it. Well, I'm still fixing it, obviously. So don't be so upset, I'm trying to get a life so you don't have to deal with me anymore."

Alfred dragged his brother to the scale in the bathroom. Matthew shied away. "D-Don't bother. It doesn't work." he looked towards the bathroom exit, and then at the metal razor sitting in the sink still. Alfred stepped on the scale. "186. It works, that's how much I weigh. Now you." and he held Matthew in place as the scale loaded the weight. "Mattie... 92 pounds... I weigh more than twice as much as you. A boy your age should weigh at least 130."

"I'm short." Matthew retorted.

"Not 35 pounds short." Alfred shot back. "You'll catch a cold at night without any fat on you. C'mon, you're sleeping in my bed, and we're sharing body heat. I've already failed enough as a brother to let you get sick on top of everything else." and he led his brother to his room, changin quickly into pajamas while Matthew situated himself. "And Mattie..." Alfred said, pausing to pull his shirt on. "There is nothing unnattractive about you. You are the sweetest, cutest, funniest boy I know. If it wasn't for my reputation of beating up anybody who laid a hand on you, I bet you'd have guys swarming all over you everywhere you go.

"You do not have a reputation for that. You're just saying that to make me feel less like a loser." Matthew snuggled deeper in the blankets, feeling cold. Alfred snorted. "I've had some real weirdos ask if they can court you. Trust me, I have seen a lot worse than you think. This one guy offered to show me that he could satisfy you sexually, and I nearly had to beat him to death for even suggesting that."

"I'm glad. That would probably traumatize me forever."

Alfred turned off the light and climbed into his bed, under the blanket. "Brr! I hate february! But really, I have such high standards I bet most guys don't even ask cause you're way out of their league."

"I wonder why relationship terms are all *yawn* baseball terms. Like, 'out of your league'...and...*yawn*...'swing for the other team'...*yawn*..." Mattie drifted off, snuggling into the warm body next to him. Alfred waited a few seconds to see if he would continue talking, or if he fell asleep.

When the only sound was the clocking ticking on the wall, Alfred found himself also falling asleep. He wrapped his arms around Matthew, and fell into dreamland.

Done again! Whew! Thanks for the reviews, guys! I was surprised so many people had already favorited and followed it, I just had to update it again! Next update will be Friday night/Saturday morning! (9-21-12/9-22-12).

Ciao!


	3. That Depends on How Far I Can Toss You

_Last Chapter:_

_ Alfred turned off the light and climbed into his bed, under the blanket. "Brr! I hate february! But really, I have such high standards I bet most guys don't even ask [you out] cause you're way out of their league."_

_ "I wonder why relationship terms are all *yawn* baseball terms. Like, 'out of your league'...and...*yawn*...'swing for the other team'...*yawn*..." Mattie drifted off, snuggling into the warm body next to him. Alfred waited a few seconds to see if he would continue talking, or if he fell asleep._

_ When the only sound was the clocking ticking on the wall, Alfred found himself also falling asleep. He wrapped his arms around Matthew, and fell into dreamland._

ARE YOU READY FOR A CHAPTER SO FLUFFY

YOUR TEETH WILL FALL OUT?

good, cause here it is:

(AN:I don't own Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, I just love that movie so much)

Chapter Three: That Depends on How Far I Can Toss You

Sunlight streamed through the window, right on Alfred's face. 'ugh, I should know better by now. Why am I sleeping on the wrong side of my bed?'

He sluggishly opened his eyes and blinked them back shut quickly. Instead, he tried to roll over away from the light, but found another body laying next to him, slightly curled up to him. His hand searched the person, coming to rest on the curvy hips.

'Did I bring a girl home? What happened last night?' To his relief, they were both fully clothed. The mystery person moved, and a few seconds of silence followed. Suddenly the other person jumped up with a squeal, away from Alfred. The two brothers stared at each other for a minute while remembering last night's events. Matthew blushed bright red while Alfred chuckled nervously.

"It's not funny! I thought somebody kidnapped me while I was sleeping! I'm not used to waking up with another person!" Matthew shouted, his face reddening. Alfred shrugged. "To be honest, I was a bit freaked, too. I couldn't remember a single thing that happened last night."

Matthew looked off to the side, biting his lip. "Do you remember now?"

"Yeah, I remember."

Matthew hesitated before nodding quickly, then bolted out of the room. "IHaveToGetReadyForSchool!" he shouted behind him. Alfred yawned and decided he needed five more minutes. Suddenly there was a loud crash from Matthew's room and the teen cried out in pain. "Mattie?"

No response. Alfred jumped out of bed, to Matthew's room down the hall. The Canadian was under a pile of clothes and shoes, the shelf having evidently fallen and smacked him in the head. Alfred rushed over, trying to ignore the fact Mattheww was wearing just boxers and a shirt. "Mattie, wake up." he pulled the clothes and shoes off his brother, and picked him up, laying him on the bed. "You dummy, I can lift you no problem. Don't you know that I love you and I only want what's best for you?"

The t-shirt rode up Matthew's back and Alfred's eyes widened. There were burns and bruises all over, covering his brother. With shaking hands, Alfred pulled the shirt down, not being able to handle it anymore. The motion woke Mattie, and he shot up like a bat out of hell. "Alfred! Wh-What happened?"

"Your shelf fell and hit you. But that's not what's important right now. Mattie, if there was something wrong, you'd tell me, right? You wouldn't go so far as to hurt yourself to feel better?"

"What do you mean?" Matthew asked, obviously avoiding the question as he stared guiltily at Alfred's trembling hands. Something in Alfred snapped and he pushed Matthew on his stomach on the bed, and pulled his shirt up. "THIS! _Please_ tell me this wasn't you... Tell me it was a bully, and I'll pound their face in."

Matthew was shaking in fear, unable to form words through the tears. "I-I-" he stuttered, then took and deep breath. "I just wanted to feel in control of something...anything. I have no control over my feelings, no friends, and nobody notices me. I thought...that if somebody noticed me hurting myself, they'd give me some attention. But I just realized I don't want this kind of attention."

"And the cutting and starving yourself?" Alfred asked, moving to hug his brother tightly to his chest. "Why did you do that?"

"I...I may have an eating disorder. I just feel so unloved, because my brain thinks I'm fat and gross, and won't let me keep anything down. I _know _I'm supposed to weigh more, but I can't do it. And I cut myself because I heard that physical pain helps ease emotional pain. I just wanted to try it, that was the first time and I swear I'll never do it again!" Matthew cried.

Alfred shushed him, pulling him to his lap to better hug him. "I'm sorry for putting you through this, but I have to know. What did you burn yourself with, and where did the bruises come from?"

Matthew was silent for a long time. "The bruises...I pinch myself really hard...I saw it in that movie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and wanted to try it to see if it calmed me. And I burnt myself with a hair straightener. I bought it specifically for that purpose."

"Where is it? Give it to me." Alfred demanded. Matthew pointed to his dresser drawer, and Alfred took it out, taking the whole thing to his room. He came back a second later, holding a composition notebook. "Here." he handed it to the bewildered Canadian. "Write a journal. If you ever feel sad or feel the need to hurt yourself, write in here. It helped me a lot right after mom and dad died."

"Al, should I be sad that mom and dad died? I never really have been sad, because I don't remember them, but they were never here and more often than not, they didn't know who I was. They'd confuse me for you, or just not be able to figure it out at all. They thought I was your friend. So I can't bring myself to be sad they aren't here. Cause I don't think they'd realize it if I had died." Matthew ranted, tears flowing down his cheeks as he thought about the neglect he'd been so accustomed to.

Alfred hesitated. Had Mattie been neglected? Can he think of a time when his parents were kind to the boy? His brain came up with nothing and the teen was shocked. "I remember them probably more than you do, because I was older. They weren't around much, no, they were always working. And I can honestly say that I can't remember them doing anything for you. I miss them, because they were so nice to me and gave me everything I asked for. But I guess it's natural you wouldn't care for them, with the way they treated you."

Silence was cast over the house, with only the creaking of the home settling could be heard. Matthew broke the silence. "I don't want to go to school."

"We have to. Get dressed." and Alfred left.

Matthew pouted for a second before slipping on skinny jeans and a band shirt, feeling rebellious. He also applied some eyeliner, and caught his appearance in the mirror in the hall. Everyone was sure to notice him today. How could they ignore that?

He bounced down the stairs, feeling more confident as his brother caught sight of him and stared at him as he walked past into the kitchen. Without looking, Matthew could tell Alfred's eyes had slid downwards, to his jean clad ass. Deciding to mess with the hot blooded American, he pretended with all his drama might, that he dropped the box of poptarts. As he bent down to pick it up, the stare intensified. So much that it actually frightened Matthew and he straightened up quickly, hiding behind the fridge door.

"Mattie, what are you wearing?"

Instantly, Mattie had doubts clouding his mind. "I just thought I'd wear something different today. I need to do laundry and..."

"And the eyeliner?"

'He's right, I look like a whore!' Matthew thought, biting his lip. "I'll go wash it off right away." he muttered in embarassment, trying to push past his older brother. Alfred latched onto his arm. "No, that's not what I meant. It looks good. You look really good today."

Matthew's cheeks flushed and he looked away, blush deepening as Alfred chuckled lowly. "I'm gonna have to chase off more boys than usual today. And I know you don't need to do laundry, so why the outfit?"

"I thought it would be hard for people to ignore me if I don't let them." Matthew said simply, looking up at his brother with unimaginable innocence. Alfred pulled his brother into a hug. "Don't you ever change, you naive innocent little creature."

Matthew blushed again, pulling Alfred out the door. "We're gonna be late if we don't hurry..."

The drive to school was a comfortable silence, and Matthew didn't bolt this time. He stayed right next to his brother while they walked in. Instantly they knew somethingwas wrong as all the whispering in the hall went silent and a few groups stared at the two boys unashamedly. Alfred's arm went up to pull Matthew closer to him, to protect him from whatever. Suddenly someone yelled out. "FAGS!" and all chaos followed.

Alfred covered Matthew's ears as the vulgar insults flew, not wanting to let his little brother hear such things that weren't true. A few girls were crying, begging Alfred to not be gay. Matthew noticed a lot of people had a purple paper in their hands, so he stooped to pick one up from the ground, away from Alfred's shelter. He nearly dropped it again in surprise.

The heading of the flyer read: ALFRED AND MATTHEW JONES-BONNEFOY: BROTHERS OR LOVERS? The rest of it was about how much of a whore Matthew is, converting his brother into gayness, and how Alfred is just using him to satisfy his sexual desires. He started sobbing at the unfairness of it all. The seeds of doubt now planted in his mind, he could only question Alfred's motives for kissing him last night, and for all that other stuff.

"Mattie! Mattie, it's not true. I'd do anything for you. I love you, and I think it's more than brotherly again. I'm so sorry you got dragged in this, but you have to be strong. What I'm about to do is for the best."

Before he could ask, Alfred suddenly kissed him hard. Matthew squeaked in surprise and gasped, letting Alfred's tongue through. An obnoxious voice broke through the air. "Well well well, Mattie and Al. How cute. You decided to confront your feelings after all. Congradulations, that's all I ever wanted."

Sorry it took so long for me to update it. Also, is that how you spell congradulations? it looks wrong... anyway, I hope to have more for you guys by wednesday, but don't take that as a promise. Until next time, I suppose.


	4. I'm Trying not to be Worthless

Last Chapter:

_ The heading of the flyer read: ALFRED AND MATTHEW JONES-BONNEFOY: BROTHERS OR LOVERS? The rest of it was about how much of a whore Matthew is, converting his brother into gayness, and how Alfred is just using him to satisfy his sexual desires. He started sobbing at the unfairness of it all. The seeds of doubt now planted in his mind, he could only question Alfred's motives for kissing him last night, and for all that other stuff._

_ "Mattie! Mattie, it's not true. I'd do anything for you. I love you, and I think it's more than brotherly again. I'm so sorry you got dragged in this, but you have to be strong. What I'm about to do is for the best."_

_ Before he could ask, Alfred suddenly kissed him hard. Matthew squeaked in surprise and gasped, letting Alfred's tongue through. An obnoxious voice broke through the air. "Well well well, Mattie and Al. How cute. You decided to confront your feelings after all. Congratulations, that's all I ever wanted."_

_(I fixed Congratulation :D)_

Chapter Four (Last One Guys!): I'm Trying not to be Worthless

Alfred glared at Francis, holding the flustered and panting teen up. "What the hell do you want?"

"I knew you loved him, Alfred. Everyone could tell except you. So I set you up. I made you realize your love. Now you have nothing to hide anymore. You can love without fear. And I've already talked to the school, you can have the day off to yourselfs. Have fun..."

Alfred blanched. "You mean it? It was all a trick?"

"Yep. Now get out of here. Go home. But if I ever find out you treated him badly, I'm coming after you, Alfred." Francis turned and disappeared in the crowd of teenagers. Alfred took Matthew's hand in his and they both walked out of the school, Matthew a little more than confused.

In the car, Matthew turned to his brother. "Did you mean it? When you said you loved me?" he stared not blinking at Alfred. Alfred smiled widely. "Yeah, I meant it. I tried to deny it for three years, but it never stuck in my head. I'd always find myself wondering what you'd do if I kissed you, I could never hold down a girl friend because I kept comparing her to you."

Matthew smiled shyly. Alfred pulled up to the house after a few minutes and they both got out, slamming the doors behind them. As soon as they both were in the house, Alfred was kissing Matthew with passion. Matthew melted, letting himself be pushed up against the closed door. He scrabbled at Alfred's back as he was lifted to the elder's height and his legs wound tightly around Alfred's waist.

Alfred left Matthew's mouth in favor of pressing hot kisses along his neck. Heat radiated from Matthew's face as he blushed, and was pooling in his stomach. Alfred's hands, that were previously holding Matthew up, slid up his shirt. Matthew selfconsciously tried to squirm away, afraid Alfred would feel something displeasing to him.

Alfred withdrew, staring Matthew in the face. Matthew stared back in shame, then quickly looked down. Alfred held onto Matthew and walked to the couch, laying over his younger brother. "Mattie, I love you. You are not unattractive in any way, shape, or form. You are perfect to me. Don't be so shy." he kissed Matthew again, gently and lovingly. Matthew slowly relaxed as he focused on the man above him. "Alfred..." he said, breaking away from the kiss. "I love you too. I've loved you for a long time. But I'm still nervous about everything. I'm sorry if I want to take it slower than you..."

Alfred immediately jumped off him. "Oh, is this too fast for you? I'm sorry Mattie, I wasn't thinking and-"

"Alfred! This pace is fine. I just don't think we should be shedding clothes or anything." he explained, grabbing onto Alfred's shirt and yanking him down on top of him. "I'm good with kissing. It feels nice. Maybe we can start shedding clothes when it gets warm enough?" he teased shyly, blushing madly.

Alfred laughed, pressing kisses all over Matthew's face, then looked him seriously in the face. "Mattie, I want you to gain weight starting immediately. Nobody hates you for being fat. They'd be crazy to think that. Who needs them anyway, when you have me?"

THE END (FOR NOW?)

Wow, I feel bad for leaving it like that, but I may make a sequel or epilogue. Ummmm I'll go update You're Beautiful real quick, and I need to get started on a Spamano my friend requested. I think, just for you guys, I'll make my sequel or epilogue very lemony fluffy goodness! I can't say when it'll be ready, but I hope after I finish You're Beautiful and the Spamano.

TaTa for now!


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